I'm lost and stupid without you.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
