Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
