whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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