i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
