butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
