ya dads aren't the best wingmen
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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