One girl and one boy is just not enough.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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