i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
