Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
