i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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