I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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