put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
