addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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