you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
