I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
