Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
