are you so shy because you have an std?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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