I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I could fuck to npr.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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