Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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