We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
