I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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