Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
