you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
