yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
