alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
