As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
false alarm. still invincible.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
