dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
