Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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