um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
