I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My ATM looks so different sober.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
