You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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