So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
