margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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