just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
