he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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