Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
