Got a toothbrush?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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