After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
