We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
