Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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