your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
