Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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