Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
