:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
