I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
