Sry I called you an 8
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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