One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
