I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
