I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
