People with herpes should wear stickers.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
