I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
